Nigeria is safe for investment and tourism; says the government. But for the locals, their experiences say otherwise. The stories are incredible and the propaganda legendary.
Here’s your unofficial travel advisory from your favorite , Savanna journal.
Here’re 10 places to visit if you aren’t sure of the usefulness of your life, wallet and credit or debit card.
Banks say, our ATM stands are safe. Customers say it is an audition for a crime documentary. You think you are withdrawing money, but you are auditioning for a crime documentary. Everyone behind you is breathing down your neck like your ancestors. One wrong move and the entire queue turns into a reality show called Who Want to Slap a Millionaire?
The government says peace has returned. Yes, the kind of peace where you can hear crickets because the whole town has relocated.
Every week a new tragedy. Every week a fresh condolence message from a government official in Agbada, sipping zobo in Abuja. You are more likely to see a press release than an actual police van. Satellite images show smoke; government says it’s traditional cooking.
p>You see green grass, fertile land and think peace, but lowkey, it’s Nigeria’s version of Game of Thrones. Governor calls for help, president sends thoughts and prayers.
Government says we’ve defeated Boko Haram. Locals say we still pay taxes to them. Just 20 kilometers away from government’s airport, Boko Haram holds its annual general meetings.
Beautiful rocks, cool breeze and every two months someone decides to burn the city to remind us of the legendary ethnic tension.
Home of two former Nigerian presidents and capital of bandits. Everyone is confused except the government who keeps announcing fresh security gains. Meanwhile, villagers now have their own army armed with catapults, sticks and stones.
Locals say commercial buses are no longer safe. Government says claims are made by opposition political parties.
Government calls them terrorists. Locals call them freedom fighters. Mondays are public holidays in the region. Government says go about your legitimate businesses, but common sense advises residents to stay at home.
Especially on the Third Mainland Bridge or anywhere near Oshodi. What starts as a 10-minute drive becomes a pilgrimage. Drivers are fighting, hawkers are selling anything from plantain to plasma TVs. The heat, sponsored by hell. Your car horn becomes your therapy, inside of your car feels like home while pickpockets are snatching phones and wallets.