No one writes “I’m a fraudster” on his t-shirt (at least not in public). Nonetheless, we’ve got different methods to separate the goat from the sheep.
These methods are scientifically proven. Although the FBI might just be hearing about it for the first time, it’s Nigeria’s local way of solving a local problem.
Ready to learn? Let’s go.
1. They use two phones
Yes, two phones. One for clients and one for real life. If someone answers one phone in English and the other in blended American-British-Nigerian accent, they are not bilingual. They are bifraudual.
(Hello sir, we can assure you that your investment is 100% safe — just wire it through Chase Bank.)
Switches phone: (Guy, that mogu don pay.)
2. Their English is too smooth for a local boy
If he says: “Hay dear, I must confess your profile captivated my attention. I feel destiny orchestrated our connection.”
He’s either a romance scammer or really, really desperate. Nigerians don’t say “captivated.” We say: (This your photo make sense die.)
And if he suggests opening an account at Barclays for “joint savings,” just log out immediately.
3. They always have a cousin in the UK or US
Every fraudster has a rich and mysterious cousin or business partner abroad. This cousin is never broke and always sending money back home.
He only banks with HSBC or Bank of America — yet somehow, you will never see his photo unless you’re part of the family.
4. They’re always assuring
Whenever someone says “This opportunity is very legit. Invest now before it slips away” multiple times, even when you’re not in doubt — just run. You’re dealing with a yahoo-boy.
Legit investments don’t beg you to transfer cash through Wells Fargo at midnight.
5. They never sleep at night
Even at 3:00 AM when NEPA takes the light, their generator is on and their keyboard at work. That’s not dedication. That’s someone trying to scam an American nurse on Facebook.
(Baby, I swear, I’ll come to Maryland next week. Just send the money for the flight through Citibank.)
They call it hustle. FBI calls it a romance scam.
6. Their laptop never goes off
Their PC is never down or out of internet connection. It takes them seconds to respond on social media. That’s not presence. That’s client service — the fraud edition.
Usually ending with: “Kindly make payment to my Standard Chartered account.”
7. Their lips move faster than their voices
During video calls, their lips move faster or slower than their voices. Thinking it’s a network issue? Come on, that’s Femi using the photo of R. Kelly to scam American seniors.
He’ll probably ask you to verify your love by wiring funds to his First Bank of Nigeria account.
All thanks to WhatsApp group admins, friends, and victims, these extremely proven scientific methods were developed. Even the FBI will be shocked by this discovery.