WhatsApp statuses are a great outlet for self-expression.
Until the person expressing themselves clearly needs a therapist, not an audience.
Then suddenly, it’s not so nice anymore.
Unfortunately, a good chunk of WhatsApp users are teetering on the edge of madness.
And yes, that includes you..
So, in the interest of preserving your sanity, self-worth, and will to live, here are 10 types of WhatsApp statuses you need to mute — immediately.
- CRYPTO EVANGELISTS
“If you’re not making $500 a day in your sleep, you’re doing life wrong.”
Sir, I’m barely making it through the day awake. Please.
They post daily screenshots of mysterious apps with graphs going up, and say things like “DM me to escape poverty.”
And then when you do,
They ask you to pay 500 dollars for masterclass.
If I had 500 dollars to pay,
Would I be DMing you!
- GRIND OBSESSED
“Sleep is for the rich”
“Let them sleep while you work, the difference will show”
These statuses are somehow always posted at 3:17AM.
Like bro, what did sleep ever do to you?
If you’re an insomniac, just say that instead of pretending you’re Elon musk’s PA.
Maybe if they actually slept instead of typing hustle quotes for whatsapp, their statuses won’t be so unbearable.
- GYM BROS
These guys either post themselves flexing in front of a mirror, or their protein obsessed feeding,
There’s no in-between.
“No pain, no gain”
Like we get it dude,
Your biceps are bigger than my head and your thighs can crush me.
I already feel insecure about the fact that I’m starting to look like the letter “b”.
Get these protein shakes out of my face and Let me enjoy my puff puff in peace!
- SOFT LIFE GIRLS
“Dubai again. I’m tired of traveling 😩.”
Meanwhile, you just spent 9 hours in traffic.
She has Chanel bags but no known employment history. Her statuses are 67 slides long, with exotic locations and captions like “Work hard, stay humble.”
Oh shut up,
Oh shut up, the only work you’ve had to do is decide which designer bag to take on your trip to the spa.
Such unfairness will make you think deeply about your life so it’s best to just mute them.
- LOVE IS SCAM
“You broke my heart, but somehow I’m still checking if you’re okay.”
“Funny how forever turned into a few months.”
“I miss you, but I don’t miss the way you made me feel worthless.”
They’ve been heartbroken since 2016 and they want the rest of us to feel it.
Their statuses go: love quote, betrayal quote, breakup meme, sad song lyric, and then a repost of their birthday picture from 2019.
If you’ve been heartbroken by every single relationship you’ve been in,
Maybe you’re the problem. Just saying.