BAMAKO, MALI — In an act of noble pity for his fragile nation, Mali’s military ruler Assimi Goita has generously announced he will step down by 2030, if the country still exists.…
Africa
ACCRA, GHANA — In a bold step toward spiritual convenience, Ghanaian pastor Daniel Osagyefo has launched a ‘Pre-Forgiveness Service’ aimed at congregation members who plan to sin later in the week. Church members were…
TWITTER — Elon Musk has issued a desperate plea to Nigerians: stop tagging him in your NEPA (Nigeria’s old electricity authority) complaints, he’s not your president. “Sorry, but tagging me 800 times…
Forget what NASA told you. African astronauts have been boldly going where no one has gone before. While the world obsesses over SpaceX and Elon Musk, Africa has been quietly training her…
NAIROBI, KENYA — A revolutionary new Kenyan delivery app promises to get your package to you in just under two years, blazing past local expectations. The app, Polepole — Swahili for “slowly”…
TUNIS, TUNISIA — Tunisia has announced plans to export sunshine as renewable energy, because apparently there’s too much of it. “We’ve got plenty of sunshine. It’s free, it burns our land, and…
1. Nigeria :Meetings last forever but resolve nothing. 2. Kenya – Morning starts at 11 a.m., and if someone’s walking fast, they’re instantly suspected of witchcraft. 3. Tanzania :There Slogans include: “Why…
ADDIS ABABA, ETHIOPIA — Following the US decision to cut off aid, African leaders gathered in Addis Ababa this week to develop a new policy ensuring support reaches the continent’s poorest. But…
Forget the First Lady who forced her husband to hold an entire press conference just to declare he had only one wife. Or the one who famously married two presidents from two…
JOHANNESBURG — Researchers at the University of Johannesburg have discovered the power in diversity… literally, confirming that Nigerian and Ghanaian Jollof disputes are now a vital source of renewable energy Africa desperately…