WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a bizarre statement, President Trump claimed Jeffrey Epstein killed himself because he had no clients. Trump said that, as a world-class businessman, he knows how to spot great…
International
Paris, France — As global tensions rise over Israel’s bombing of Iranian military sites, triggering fears of a third world war, the French government has calmly stepped forward to declare that they…
U.S. — Home Depot has begun rolling out self-deportation kiosks so local day laborers hanging around outside their stores can conveniently deport themselves for a nominal fee. “We are always looking for…
Are you being persecuted for your faith? Oh no! That’s not good! We Americans are experts in persecution, so we want to equip you with the tools you need to survive! Here…
NEW YORK, NY – According to sources, beloved North Korean tyrant and lover of doughnuts Kim Jong Un is now attending Columbia University, a prestigious Ivy League school, to learn new brainwashing…