ACCRA, GHANA — Former Minister of Sanitation Cecilia Abena Dapaah has reportedly discovered she has a heart — after watching a heart-wrenching Nollywood film.
Sources say Dapaah was watching the movie Helping Hand when she felt an unfamiliar sensation: remorse. “I was teary beyond reason,” she told reporters. “The film made me realize stealing isn’t right. Corruption is like toying with hellfire. You destroy yourself and others. I want to repent. For real this time.”
The emotional shift stunned observers, many of whom had written off Dapaah as just another beneficiary of high-level corruption. “This can’t be true,” one woman said. Twitter user Kofi Mensah posted, “Politicians suddenly growing a conscience? Sounds like a rebrand. They’ll just take a break and come back smarter at looting. But hey, maybe this one’s different.”
Government officials are reportedly baffled by cinema’s emerging role in governance reform. “We’ve spent billions on anti-corruption programs,” said spokesperson Dr. Palgrave Boakye Danquah. “Yet Nollywood transformed the poster child of Ghanaian corruption in under 90 minutes. Maybe it’s time to ditch the agencies and invest in Netflix.”
In unrelated news, Mrs. Dapaah has vowed to return all her stolen assets — both foreign and local — because she’s “totally changed now.”