MINNA, NIGER — In a bold rebranding effort, officials in Niger State have clarified that the title “Power State” refers strictly to political influence, and not, as many citizens had wrongly assumed, to electricity.
Though the state is home to four hydroelectric dams, authorities have now explained that the massive infrastructure was never meant to generate power. Instead, they say, the dams were intended as “giant national bathtubs.”
“These were never meant to light bulbs, just lives,” said the Senior Advisor to the Governor on Energy Affairs. “Citizens should feel free to bathe in them. Frankly, it’s embarrassing that anyone thought they were for electricity.”
The head of the State Electricity Commission, Engr. Mohammad Sharu, was equally stunned.
“No one ever informed me we had dams. And even if we do — let’s be honest — everyone knows dams are for swimming. Not for power. We must crack down on this dangerous misinformation before people start bringing extension cords to the river.”
The government has since threatened legal action against anyone claiming that hydroelectric dams are designed to produce electricity. A new state-wide directive now refers to them as “community spa reservoirs.”
When pressed about the confusion, the Governor responded bluntly:
“It’s foolish to believe dams are for electricity. They’ve always been communal bathhouses. People should bring towels, not expectations.”
In a related development, the state has announced it will officially rebrand its Ministry of Power as the “Ministry of Soothing Waters and Public Hygiene.”