ACCRA, GHANA — In a bold move to fight corruption, Ghanaian politicians have formed a coalition armed with just two tools: prayer and fufu.
“Corruption must be fought unconventionally,” said coalition leader Ken Ofori-Atta, Ghana’s former finance minister best known for turning looting into a professional sport. “We won’t win with old methods. This fight must be led by corrupt leaders themselves, using prayer that moves mountains, and fufu that fills bellies before they steal.”
Reports say the coalition — made up of politicians of all sizes — plans to stamp out corruption in a “uniquely Ghanaian” way.
“Investigating corrupt politicians isn’t enough,” said a member who requested anonymity. “Prayer does more than whistleblowing. And fufu helps. Hunger drives corruption more than pressure. That’s where fufu comes in, to stuff people full so they won’t steal.”
The coalition has proposed a new national holiday: Fufu and Forgiveness Day, where corrupt officials confess sins over steaming bowls of fufu, then receive cleansing prayers from pastors and praise singers.
“We need politicians to work against themselves,” said a political analyst from the University of Accra. “But will that work if the fight is led with fufu and prayer?”
Since the coalition formed, corruption rates have dropped, at least on paper. Which left many wondering: how did corrupt politicians create a corruption-free country? Turns out, the coalition was just a front, designed to help them steal more strategically and boldly.