JOHANNESBURG — Researchers at the University of Johannesburg have discovered the power in diversity… literally, confirming that Nigerian and Ghanaian Jollof disputes are now a vital source of renewable energy Africa desperately needs.
According to sources, the “Jollof Wars,” as they’re commonly called, generate vast amounts of clean energy. It’s believed that by 2030, all African homes could be powered by the sheer volume of energy released every time an argument heats up.
“Each Twitter fight currently powers three homes in Nairobi,” said Head of Research Riaan Vorst. “We’re certain these disputes will linger forever. Our goal is to power all African homes with the raw energy from these battles. Bad governance won’t deny Africans electricity anymore — what governments failed to do, the Jollof Wars will accomplish.”
The “2030 Jollof Electricity” initiative has been praised by Nigerians and Ghanaians alike, proud their disputes finally give back to their communities. “This is a proud moment,” tweeted Nigerian user @Lame_egret01. “I never thought my Twitter banter about Ghanaian Jollof would power homes — but here we are.”
Critics worry the initiative will require substantial funding to power all homes by 2030. “It’s feasible — the problem is nobody’s willing to fund it,” said an Eskom engineer. “We’ve proven it works,” added Riaan Vorst. “We’re beyond research; now it’s about mass production. We want Africans to forget what blackouts are — but funding keeps playing hide-and-seek.”
Since the announcement, Nigerian and Ghanaian Jollof disputes have escalated to new heights, dialed up to maximum intensity. Riaan Vorst confirms, “These energy levels are critical and could power the entire world indefinitely.”