JOHANNESBURG, SOUTH AFRICA — A controversial new study from the University of Johannesburg has revealed a shocking epidemic plaguing modern men.They are trying too hard to please women therefore Psychologists have dubbed it “TTH-II Syndrome” — short for Try Too Hard, Instantly Implode.
“We studied 2,000 men across Southern Africa and noticed identical brain patterns among those who constantly seek validation from emotionally unavailable women,” said lead researcher Prof. Themba Zulu. “They were financially drained, emotionally bankrupt, and biologically ticking down.”
Co-researcher Prof. Lerato Van Wyk explained that men were expending so much energy trying to be the ‘perfect boyfriend.’ As a result their bodies began shutting down. This was because these men weren’t living well but over performing. The study notes that many of the women involved viewed their partners as “just options.” The women expertly feigned interest long enough to keep them on an emotional treadmill.
A UK-based relationship expert called the syndrome ” psychological black hole for nice guys.” He added, “It’s not love. It’s unpaid emotional labour — with no pension.”
In response, local clinics across Gauteng are now offering Simpiwe Recovery Therapy, designed to rehabilitate men suffering from chronic simping. Results have been mixed. Some patients relapse after receiving one “good morning” text with three heart emojis.
The researchers urge men to “love wisely,” warning that unconditional devotion to emotionally unavailable women could literally be fatal.