“Delay Is Not Denial” — Except When It Comes to Your Salary in Nigeria
They say, “Delay is not denial.” But if you live in Nigeria, that probably doesn’t apply to your salary.
You see, in Nigeria, salary isn’t earned — it’s hoped for. And contrary to popular belief, the organization you work for doesn’t always have your best interests at heart.
Nigerian bosses, in particular, have mastered the art of saying just the right words to either soften the blow or completely distract you from your suffering.
So how do you cut through the sweet talk and spot the nonsense for what it really is? We’re here to help. Below is a carefully curated list of things your Nigerian boss might say that mean only one thing: “Find a new job.”
1. “This company is like a family.”
Ah yes, the classic.
I’ve never understood why anyone falls for that line. What kind of family pays a salary? And no, allowance doesn’t count. If you got one growing up, this conversation isn’t for you.
But maybe they’re right. Nigerian bosses are like family — specifically, that wealthy, stingy uncle who’s always “looking into it.”
2. “Let’s focus on building value first.”
Ah yes.
Value.
Worth so much more than Naira, apparently.
Cashier: That will be ₦45,650. Cash or card?
You: Value.
Next time you’re at a cashier, try paying with “value” and see how that goes.
If your boss says this, just know the only thing that’s going to be built… is your frustration.
3. “Even me, I’ve not gotten paid.”
The oldest trick in the unpaid salary playbook.
Suddenly, you’re in solidarity with your millionaire boss — whose phone is worth more than your five years’ rent.
Don’t fall for it.
While you’re sipping garri, they’re sipping cocktails.
4. “Don’t worry, I’m handling it personally.”
Boss-speak for: “I’ve moved on with my life.”
You are not part of the equation anymore.
In fact, the last time your boss thought about you was just now — when you walked into their office.
“Handling it personally” means they’re praying for a miracle. Hope you’ve joined MFM.
5. “It’s out of my hands.”
Just like Pontius Pilate, your boss has washed their hands clean of your matter.
But if it’s out of their hands… who’s holding the money then? The Holy Spirit? Elon Musk?
The only thing out of their hands is accountability.
6. “The investors pulled out last minute.”
“Pulled out” is the correct phrase — because you just got screwed.
These so-called investors have been pulling out since 2018. At this point, it’s basically withdrawal method.
7. “We’ll pay you double next month.”
Your boss just said: “Double it and give it to the next person.”
But it won’t be doubled. And you are not the next person.
This is just something to dream about when hunger wakes you at night.
8. “I’m in a meeting, can we talk later?”
This might as well be your boss’ catchphrase.
Every time you say “salary,” they become booked back-to-back — like Mariah Carey in December.
9. “The salary is competitive.”
If you accept that salary, the only competition you’ll face is:
Hunger vs Debt.
Place your bets.
10. “Believe in the vision.”
You might as well be blind — because there’s nothing to see here.
The only vision you’ll be seeing is di-vision:
Of your rent, your relationships, and your sanity.
Conclusion
If your boss hits you with even three of these lines in one month, just know your bank account is about to start intermittent fasting.